Why didn't I write for a long time. What to do if a guy doesn't write first

At different ages, children may experience rare urination, and parents begin to sound the alarm: what is wrong with the baby? Most often, panic turns out to be completely in vain: a small body can simply rebuild to a new age regime, because it grows, its food becomes more solid - accordingly, and the number of urinations per day becomes less.

But sometimes there are cases when the cause of this phenomenon is a serious pathology of the urinary system, which requires long-term treatment. Therefore, first of all, you need to find out what factor became a provocateur of a decrease in urine excreted per day.

Causes of rare urination in children

The reasons for this phenomenon can be very different. Often infrequent urination in an infant is due to the high fat content of the mother's milk. In such cases, the nurse needs to follow a specific diet in order to dilute the natural food for the baby. The second most frequent reason for this phenomenon is a decrease in urine excreted per day in accordance with the age norms that every mother should know:

The third common cause of infrequent urination is improper drinking regime. It often happens that a small organism does not give signals that it needs liquid: the child does not ask for a drink at all. In this case, you need to regularly remind him that you need to do this and even force him. If there is neither the fat content of breast milk, nor the age limits indicated in the table, nor the drinking regimen, rare urination may be dictated by more serious reasons:

kidney pathology, which partially lose the ability to produce the required amount of urine;
diseases of the ureters, their partial blockage;
damage to the bladder (often with too long abstinence from emptying it);
uncontrolled, improper use of diuretics;
hysteria, hypochondria, nervous fever;
excessive stretching of the bladder;
back or brain injury;
stones, sand in the kidneys or in the bladder;
pinched urethra;
neoplasm of blood vessels;
urinary tract infections.

Rare urination in a child caused by these diseases and pathologies will require long-term drug treatment up to surgery. Therefore, it is so important to carefully monitor the state of a small organism and recognize the trouble in time.

Symptoms of Problematic Urination

You can suspect a serious illness if you have the following symptoms, which usually accompany rare urination in such cases:

the stream of urine is thin, has a weak pressure;
urine is discharged in drops;
this process becomes possible only with some specific, definite position of the body;
burning, soreness;
the urge to empty the bladder is felt, but accompanied by cramps and a feeling of strong pressure.

Treatment

The main therapy is to eliminate the factors that provoked the disease. An individual approach is applied to each little patient. The main methods of treating pathologies of the bladder, which result in rare urination, are:

1. Hip bath

At the very beginning of the treatment, the water temperature of such a bath is 26 ° C, but it is gradually increased to 30 ° C. In case of inflammatory processes, sit-in baths are prescribed once a day for 15 minutes.

2. Compresses

Compresses may be prescribed to the location of the bladder. Sometimes, more extensive compresses may be applied to the whole body. If an inflammatory process is observed in the body, soothing compresses are applied to the baby's lower abdomen.

3. Therapeutic diet

This condition in children may also depend on their nutrition, therefore, with such a pathology, it is recommended to follow a certain diet. First, food should not irritate the stomach wall. Secondly, you need to give your child to drink as much liquid as possible.

4. Douching

Douching is prescribed to a child only by a doctor only if the rare emptying of the bladder is accompanied by pain and a feeling of discomfort. If the disorder is severe, this procedure is performed using a catheter in a hospital.

If all of the above methods of treatment turn out to be ineffective, and the baby's condition does not change or improve, the only way out can be only surgery (in case of serious pathology of the genitourinary system). But to confirm the diagnosis, numerous laboratory tests, tests, ultrasound and other diagnostic methods are first carried out. However, most often, a child's rare urination does not have such serious reasons and very soon disappears with the normalization of the drinking regime and proper nutrition.

Not very profuse or infrequent urination in a child can occur at any age. Given the fact that the norms for this indicator change as the baby grows up, parents should familiarize themselves with the basic numbers in advance. If it seems to the mother that her little one began to urinate little or rarely, you should not take rash independent actions, you need to immediately consult a doctor and pass all the necessary tests to make a diagnosis.

Only with the permission of a specialist, you can use folk diuretics and even adjust the baby's diet. According to statistics, all alarms in most cases are in vain, or the condition requires only minor intervention.

Age norms of the daily and one-time volume of urine excreted, the number of urinations

Before you go to the doctor, you must consider an important circumstance. It often seems to mothers that the child has begun to write little compared to what it was a few weeks or months ago. In fact, it may be just a consequence of age-related changes. Parents should stock up on a memo stating how many times a day at what age the baby should relieve a small need, what are the normal one-time and daily volumes of urine.

From birth to six months of life. A newborn child is able to write up to 20-25 times a day, releasing 20-35 ml of fluid at a time. On average, up to 400-500 ml of urine are allocated to them per day.
From six months to a year. The amount of urination is reduced to 15-17 per day. The single volume increases by about 5-10 ml, the daily volume increases by 100 ml.
Up to three years. The number of "approaches" is already 10-12 times. For one urination, the child secretes about 60-90 ml of the product, per day - 700-800 ml.
Up to seven years old. The number of urinations is not more than 7-9. But, if up to five years at a time 70-90 ml of fluid is excreted from the child's body, then in the next two years the one-time volume is already 100-150 ml. It turns out that up to five years, the daily volume of urine is 900-1100 ml, after that - 1100-1300 ml.
Up to nine years old. With the same amount of urination, the one-time volume increases by 50 ml, the daily volume - by 200 ml.
Up to 13 years old. Children go to the toilet in a small way up to 6-7 times a day. At the same time, the single volume of the secreted fluid approaches 250 ml, the daily volume - to 1800-1900 ml.

It should be borne in mind that the averaged indicators are given in the memo. The data in each case may slightly shift in one direction or another, depending on the characteristics of the child's development, activity and nutrition.

The main physiological causes of rare coping and methods of care

In cases where the child has become little to write, first of all, it is necessary to consider the possibility of the influence of physiological factors:

The child is not eating properly. In the case of an infant, this may be the result of a breastfeeding mother not following the postpartum diet. It is not uncommon for a baby to write less than usual when switching from breastfeeding to mixed or artificial feeding.
Drinking regime is not observed. The specificity of the child's body is such that it does not always give signals in the form of thirst, indicating a lack of fluid. The adult should keep track of how much water the child receives per day and replenish this supply if necessary.
The fluid leaves the body in a different way. During the summer heat, with increased activity of the child, with vomiting or diarrhea, there is simply no liquid left for the formation of urine.

If the likelihood of the influence of these reasons is very low, you need to visit a doctor who will conduct the necessary research and determine why the baby urinates little or rarely.

Possible pathological factors provoking the condition

All causes of a pathological nature can be conditionally divided into two large groups: in some cases, urine is not formed, in others, it accumulates in the bladder, but does not come out. This is a consequence of the influence of the following factors:

Kidney disease that causes tissues to lose their ability to produce urine.
Partial or complete blockage of the ureters (stones, sand in the kidneys or bladder).
Bladder problems with prolonged refusal to empty the bladder (eg, overstretching).
Improper or prolonged use of diuretics.
Psychological discomfort, hysteria, nervous breakdown.

Advice: Changes in the frequency and quality of urination are often observed in children who find themselves in a new environment (kindergarten, school). In some cases, due to the shyness of the child, in others - due to improper behavior of the staff, the baby stops writing as needed. He begins to endure, which quickly becomes a habit. Sometimes a simple conversation is enough to discover the given cause.

Neoplasms in the ureters, blood vessels.
Consequences of injuries to the spine or brain.
Infectious processes in the genitourinary system.

The listed conditions are not visible. Even an experienced physician must first conduct a series of studies. Parents, on the other hand, should pay attention to the presence of symptoms characteristic of problems in this area.

Symptoms of pathology and tests that must be taken if problems are suspected

In cases where the child pisses little, but no additional signs of pathology are observed, most often the physiological reasons are to blame for the condition. You should think about problems if, against the background of a delay or insufficient amount of urine, the following symptoms occur:

Urine is excreted in drops or in a very thin, intermittent stream.
A child may not write all day, and the process becomes possible only when his body is given a certain position.
The newborn cries while urinating, and the older baby complains of burning or soreness.
There is an increase in body temperature, even a slight one.
The baby's behavior is changing. He becomes moody, lethargic, drowsy.
The color or smell of urine changes significantly.
After sleep, no matter how long it lasted, the baby develops swelling on the face.

The process of diagnosing the condition begins with a general urinalysis. For the purpose of a more detailed examination, urine tests are often prescribed by the Nechiporenko or Zemnitsky method, ultrasound of the excretory organs, x-ray of the urinary ducts using a contrast agent. Only after it becomes obvious why urine is delayed or not produced in the child's body, therapeutic manipulations and medication are introduced.

Home treatment options

In cases where the diagnostics made it possible to exclude pathological processes, doctors recommend making sure that the baby does not have a large amount of salty foods in the diet. Both the newborn and the teenager should get enough fluids per day. Its volume must be increased when the child's activity or the ambient temperature increases.

If the cause of the phenomenon is nevertheless a pathological process, the approach to each child should be selected individually. Most often, in case of problems with the passage of urine in a normal volume or with the required frequency, the following manipulations are used:

Sitting baths. Initially, they use cool water, then the temperature gradually rises.
Compresses. Most often, these are soothing compresses on the bladder area, but more extensive areas can be treated.
Health food. Food prepared for the baby should not irritate the stomach walls.
Douching. Used as an auxiliary method for painful emptying of the bladder.

Medicines are prescribed only by a doctor. Do not hope that the baby will start to write as it should if you give him a diuretic. Such actions can significantly complicate the situation.

Read the article on how to treat erythema toxicity in newborns

Violation of the frequency of urination can be both a normal variant and a sign of various urological diseases. To find out all the details of the situation, laboratory tests and specialist advice are required. In accordance with the results of the comprehensive examination, the necessary examination can be assigned.

The reasons for the situation

The main key to solving the problem with rare urination is to find out the cause. Often, correction of the drinking regime and diet, more careful caring for the child almost instantly eliminates the problem.

On the other hand, knowledge of the causes of the disease helps to correctly affect them or radically eliminate them, that is, to prevent the development of the disease or its transition to a chronic form.

The causes of infrequent urination are different for toddlers and older children. A small (nursing) child pisses little as a result of the following:

the transition from full-fledged breastfeeding to a mixed or artificial option;
insufficient amount of fluid consumed, especially in the hot season;
switching from drinking from a bottle to a baby cup;
refusal to use modern diapers (the so-called "diapers").

Rare urination in an older child, who already clearly understands and exercises control over his own excretory functions, is due to the following situations:

various options for psychological discomfort (unwillingness to show intimate parts of the body to other people, for example, at school; lack of proper sanitary and hygienic conditions in public toilets, a false feeling of something shameful in natural settings in the appropriate environment in the children's team);
insufficient fluid intake or its inadequacy to physical activity;
the actual disease of the urological plan.

Thus, in this situation, there are 2 main reasons for rare urination in children:

production of insufficient amount of urine;
production of a sufficient amount of urine, but it remains in the bladder or other parts of the urinary tract.

It is important to understand that it is possible to understand the causes of rare urination thoroughly and finally only with the help of a specialist. Any independent attempts at treatment can lead to a worsening of the condition and provoke irreversible disorders of the urinary system.

Clinical picture

The famous Soviet pediatrician A.V. Papayan compiled a table of correspondence between the child's age and the volume of urine excreted.

Based on the data in this table, parents of a child of any age can quite accurately determine: the child has really impaired urination or is it an age norm. In this case, it is necessary to assess physical activity, foods included in the diet, temperature conditions, that is, all the moments that affect the process of urine formation.

Monitoring the number of acts of urination and the volume of urine should be carried out over several days. It is advisable to record the amount of fluid you drink and the volume of urine excreted.

Parents should pay attention to the obvious symptoms of diseases of the urinary system, namely:

an increase in body temperature (even slight);
changes in the child's behavior (moodiness, lethargy, drowsiness, unusual tendency to quiet games);
discoloration of urine;
pain during urination (a small child begins to cry when he sits on the pot, and then calms down quickly enough);
strong smell of urine;
swelling of the face, especially if it occurs in the morning or immediately after sleep (so-called "renal edema").

Any of the above signs is a reason for going to the doctor and further conducting a detailed laboratory and instrumental examination.

If no changes in the child's behavior are noted, and rare urination appears from time to time, then most likely this is an individual feature of a particular child.

What examinations will help to understand the situation?

Any diagnostic search is built from simple to complex. Diagnosis of urinary tract pathology begins with a general urine test. This routine research method helps to steer further research in the right direction. Any diseases of the kidneys and urinary tract are manifested by changes in the general analysis of urine, respectively, the absence of changes as such makes it possible to exclude such diseases.

For a more detailed examination, the following are usually prescribed:

urine analysis according to the Nechiporenko method (study of the content of erythrocytes, leukocytes in 1 ml of urine);
urine analysis according to the Zimnitsky method allows you to study in detail the amount of urine excreted during the day and its laboratory parameters);
ultrasound and tomography to study the anatomical structure of the excretory system;
x-ray examination with a contrast agent allows you to assess the speed and nature of urine excretion.

General principles of therapy

Treatment of urinary disorders is determined by its cause. If the pathology of the urinary tract is excluded, then the following must be done:

give your child enough fluids;
do not abuse salty foods in the diet;
increase the amount of fluid when the ambient temperature rises (in the hot season) or during active physical activity.

It is important to teach the child not to be ashamed of the emerging situation and not to teach him to restrain natural urges for a long time. Prolonged overfilling of the bladder leads to backflow of urine into the ureters and higher regions. In the case of a chronic violation of the outflow of urine, ureteral reflux and even renal failure can form.

A pediatric urologist deals with the treatment of diseases of the urinary tract. It is with its help that you can quickly cope with the disease and prevent its transformation into a chronic form.

Dr. Komarovsky at the forum emphasizes the need to contact a specialist at the slightest suspicion of kidney disease. Only timely treatment will help to avoid complications and chronicity of the process. The laboratory and instrumental examination carried out will not cause any harm to a healthy child.

Urinary problems in children

Children never have stable physical indicators, and the younger the child, the more they can vary. At a certain age, a child may have a fairly rare urination. In such situations, most parents ask themselves: what is wrong with the baby's health?

Below we will consider the detailed reasons, but for now it is enough to understand that this may not be a disease, but a variant of the age norm. And, of course, rare urination in a child can be pathological.

If the cause is a disease, a correct and thorough diagnosis will be required, as well as a full course of treatment, so that the childhood disease remains in childhood.

In addition to the frequency of urination, it is necessary to note changes in other qualities - indicators of urine, its volume per day and in a single portion, the rhythm of urination.

Intermittent urination in a child is a reason for contacting a specialist. Do not hesitate, as any acute pathology of the urinary tract leads to increased intoxication of the body and can be complicated by acute inflammatory processes of other organs and systems. In addition, untreated kidney and urinary tract pathology often develops into a chronic one and worries a person throughout his life.

What type of urination is considered rare in children?

In search of the causes of rare urination in a child, it is worth starting with an understanding of the process itself and its norms.

Urination is the process of filtering and excreting urine from the body by voluntarily contracting the muscles and emptying the bladder. There are two important processes in urination - filtration and absorption (absorption). The quality of urination depends on the activity and coherence of these processes.

The frequency of urination is not the same in different age groups. The human kidneys are one of the few organs that can develop outside the womb. The cortex and medulla of the kidneys can develop over several years, and the aforementioned absorption and filtration processes proceed with their own characteristics in each age period.

To understand the facets of pathology, you need to understand what is considered to be the norm. According to the data adopted by the WHO (World Health Organization), the rates of urination in children are as follows.

Accordingly, a decrease in the frequency of urination compared to the lower limit of the age norm can be considered infrequent urination.

Why may the frequency of urination change?

Considering this issue, it is necessary to highlight two main criteria - the child's age and physiology. If everything is relatively clear with the first, then the second may raise questions.

The physiological nature of the problem of infrequent urination is the reasons that are not associated with the diseases of the child. Pathology is the opposite of physiological meaning, indicating the presence of a disease.

Physiological reasons.

In the period of neonatal and infancy, when the child is fed one-component feeding (milk or formula), the reason for the infrequent urination may be the increased fat content of the mother's milk. Fatty milk can also cause infrequent bowel movements in babies. The only effective way to avoid such problems is to regularly change breastfeeding breasts. Primary milk, ie milk from the "new" breast, is the least fatty. Drinking is also acceptable.
In the period from 6 months onwards, the cause can be both a physiological change in the rhythm of urination in a child, and a violation of the diet. In the latter case, you need to adjust the calorie intake and the amount of fluid consumed.

Pathological causes.

Kidney disease, both congenital and acquired. Parents, as a rule, learn about congenital pathologies in the first months. And the acquired diseases include infectious diseases. In addition to rare urination, there may be cramps, baking, itching, and pain in the lower abdomen. These diseases are treated according to their cause.
Infectious diseases of the urinary tract or mechanical blockage of the ureters (presence of stones in the kidneys and urinary tract). They are characterized not so much by rare as by intermittent urination in a child. Additional symptoms are the same as for inflammatory processes in the kidneys.
Long forced abstinence from urination. After it, there is a reflex spasm of the bladder and urinary tract, which causes urinary retention in children. Often this condition goes away on its own, but if it lasts for a long time and brings severe pain, they resort to bladder catheterization. In this case, painful urges and tension in the walls of the bladder may occur, which is felt as a spasm.
Neurological and mental disorders. So, hysterical seizures can cause both urinary incontinence and its acute retention. Elimination of a seizure or neurological syndrome restores spontaneous urination. At the same time, symptoms typical for neurological pathologies will be observed - tics, paralysis and paresis. With mental disorders, violations of consciousness and behavior are immediately evident.
High body temperature, leading to dehydration, and as a result, infrequent urination. Insufficient fluid replacement in the event of fluid loss will prevent the body from getting rid of toxins.
Urinary problems in children can also occur due to spinal cord and brain injuries (concussion, fracture). In such cases, a bladder catheter is placed on the child for the entire period of recovery and treatment of the injury.

What tests are prescribed for children with infrequent urination?

For urinary disorders in children, a pediatrician, nephrologist or urologist should order examinations to determine the cause and make a diagnosis.

The following tests are prescribed:

a general analysis of urine determines the amount of fluid, its acidity, the presence of sediment, salts, glucose, leukocytes and erythrocytes allows us to judge the presumptive nature of the pathology;
urine analysis according to Nechiporenko allows you to identify the source and localization of the infectious process in 1 ml of urine;
a general blood test helps to determine the state of the immune system in general terms, as well as the presence of inflammatory processes in the body;
bacteriological culture of urine with a suspicion of a bacterial infection allows you to determine the pathogen for the appointment of the necessary treatment.

In addition, research is being conducted:

measuring the number of acts of urination per day. This is the first thing that parents or the child himself pay attention to;
measuring the volume of a single portion of urine, which allows to determine the deviation from the age norm;
Ultrasound of the pelvic organs and ultrasound of the kidneys, which helps to see structural changes in the kidneys, bladder and urinary tract;
vocal cystourethrography - this innovative method allows visualizing congenital malformations of the bladder, kidneys, ureters;
scintigraphy to detect neoplasms in the kidneys and urinary tract.

What can parents do?

If urinary retention is not painful, you can try to provoke it with warm sitting baths, the sounds of flowing water.

If urination does not occur, an ambulance should be called so that a bladder catheterization can be performed.

In case of urinary disorders in a child, the first step is to pay attention to nutrition and water intake. Not every liquid is equated with water, so it is worth teaching your child to regularly drink plain clean water. Fatty and spicy foods, as well as fast carbohydrates and coffee, which tend to retain fluid in the body, should be excluded from the diet.

Violation of urination in children is not a cause for panic, but a cause for concern. Therefore, a timely appeal to a specialist is the main and first thing that parents should do when such problems arise.

Stool and Urinary Frequency in Newborns

We all know the discomfort when we want to relieve ourselves, but there is no restroom nearby. Fortunately, there are several things you can do to ease the urge. You can try to distract yourself and redirect your thoughts, or use physical techniques to ease your discomfort. You can also train your bladder to hold urine over time for longer periods. Nevertheless, even with a trained bladder, do not force yourself to endure when it is already very urgent to do "business". It can be harmful to the bladder and kidneys.

Steps

Use physical techniques

Change your position so that there is no pressure on your bladder. You may need to do this several times as you endure. Different body positions can relieve some of the pressure on your bladder, making it easier for it to hold urine. Try the following:

Fart if necessary. Gas build-up in the intestines can put additional pressure on the bladder. If you relieve this pressure by deflating, you may feel more comfortable and endure longer.

However, it is possible to temporarily lose control of your bladder during this process, so don't try this if you feel like you can't hold back your urine when you fart!

Keep your body warm and do not get under water. Warm yourself as much as possible by covering yourself with blankets, turning on the heater, or hugging your partner. Despite the fact that the exact reasons for this phenomenon are not completely clear, for many people the urge to need little is intensified when they (people) are cold.

Try not to move very much so as not to shake or twitch. Excessive movement can put pressure on the bladder and cause discomfort. Now is not the time to jog or practice your dance moves!
- Stay still if you are already seated. If you find yourself in a comfortable position, maintain it until you feel uncomfortable and need to change your position.
- Do not change your posture too abruptly, and do not make instant or sudden movements.
- Move as smoothly and gracefully as possible when walking or performing other activities.
Limit the amount of fluids you drink when you feel like having a small need. Drink enough to stay hydrated, but not more. Otherwise, you just add stress to the bladder!
- The average person's bladder can safely hold only 350-450 ml of urine.
- Don't stop drinking to prevent your bladder from filling up in the first place. Dehydration is indeed a real and dangerous condition of the body.
Don't try to relieve pressure by draining a little urine. For most people, it is nearly impossible to pass a little urine and then stop. In this attempt, you will most likely wet your pants.

Switch your attention or get distracted
1. Practice mindfulness by focusing on other aspects of the present moment. Instead of sitting and thinking about how much you want to use the toilet, focus on your breathing, the feeling of the sun on your face or the ground under your feet. Tune your mind to the sounds of children playing in the next room or the sight of bees buzzing among the spring flowers.
  - Meditate, chant a mantra, or do breathing exercises.
  - Some people benefit from mindful concentration when they notice how the muscles surrounding the urethra, the opening through which urine exits the body, contract. For others, this kind of awareness can backfire!
2. Get distracted by thinking about things other than urinating. Do whatever you can to clear your mind of urine or toilet habits! Simple and even silly tricks can do the trick. Try things like:
  - count over and over in reverse order from 99;
  - recite poems or words of songs that you know from childhood;
  - repeat the full names of all familiar people in the room and come up with names for strangers;
  - give yourself instructions to get home, to the office, to the grocery store, and so on.
3. Don't think about water, waterfall, or rain. This is not the best choice for distraction when you need to relieve a small need! If you are not skillful enough to fully concentrate on something like a dripping faucet, you will inevitably find your mind reverting to how much you want to empty your bladder.
  - Your friends may find it amusing to describe waterfalls, rivers, and toilet flushing if they find out you need to take a pee. Try saying, “Okay guys, very funny. I got it, ”and change the subject. If they continue, quietly leave.
4. Don't think about funny things that will make you laugh. Laughter can lead to further muscle contraction and increased pressure on the bladder. And it is possible that due to laughter, the muscles will relax and release urine out.
Train your bladder
1. Set up a comfortable urination schedule. After you've tracked when you usually have a small need, create a schedule based on that data. For starters, try setting up a schedule to urinate every 2–2.5 hours during the day.
  
  Slowly increase the time between your toilet breaks. If you started by urinating every 2 hours, move to 2 hours 15 minutes the next week, and then 2 hours 30 minutes after a week. The ultimate goal should be to go to the bathroom every 3-4 hours.
  
  Talk with your healthcare provider about any problems with bladder control. If you still need to go to the bathroom a lot despite your efforts to train your bladder, make an appointment with your doctor or urologist. If you have a frequent and urgent need to relieve yourself, you may have an overactive bladder (OAB), which is a rather vague medical condition that needs to be diagnosed by a doctor.

Love, serious relationships, the opposite sex ... At a certain moment in every girl's life, this is what takes all her thoughts, and her studies or work fade into the background. But sometimes a situation develops that a girl meets or is already dating a young man, but he does not write or call.

Why it happens? And what is the right thing to do in this case?

It is sometimes difficult for women to understand male psychology, because guys think differently from girls. Therefore, their actions often seem illogical, even if the young man himself believes that he did the right thing.

If you recently met

If you just met, but the guy does not take the initiative, this may be for several reasons. Unfortunately, the most obvious of them is that he didn't like the girl. Tell a woman to her face that she is not his type, he is afraid or shy, so he simply does not call her without explaining the reasons.

This is one of the possible options, but in fact there can be many of them:

The girl liked it too much. A man does not want or is afraid to look stupid, doubts that he is worthy of such a woman. It is possible that after some time he will repent, want to meet with her, invite her on a date, but it will be too late.
He already has a girlfriend. Not every man can be faithful to his soul mate. It is possible that he liked the other, he took her number, but then changed his mind and decided not to start a new relationship.
The man had urgent business. A young man could fall in love, ask for a number, but when he returned home, he suddenly found that he was being sent on an urgent business trip, or his friends unexpectedly called him on a fishing trip. He has no time to call back, and when he finally got a phone in his hands, he did not dare to dial the number.
He felt no interest from the girl. Despite the fact that there was an exchange of phones, he did not call, as he considered that the girl was not paying attention to him, but to his friend or another guy. Of course, most often a man prefers to play the role of a macho, confident, strong, but he can also doubt himself. Before calling a woman, he must be sure of her sympathy.
Lost my phone number. This reason is trivial, but it happens. His mobile phone could be stolen or he left it somewhere. If the number was written on a piece of paper, it can be easily dropped.
Something serious has happened. Anything can happen in life. Today the person is healthy, but tomorrow he was hospitalized. Or the misfortune happened to one of the relatives. The guy could be taken into the army. The likelihood that he is in serious trouble is small, but this should not be ruled out.
He is shy. This trait is more inherent in women. But there are also men who cannot write to the girl they like. They will like her photo on VK, but they will not write her a message, as they are afraid that she will laugh at them.
He is a gambling addict. There are guys who prefer virtual reality and are heavily addicted to it. If he gets carried away with the game, fights with his clan all day and night, then, most likely, he will forget that he needed to call someone.

All of the above reasons can explain the young man's long silence. But still, girls should know that if he really liked you, he will take the initiative: he will write on social networks or call, find through friends, even if he lost his number.

But this is not a reason to despair and worry. It's just that it was not "the same", the only one. There are no good or bad people, but two people either fit together or not. And you didn't fit.

If you went out on a date

You met, went on a first date, and after that the guy disappeared. Why did it happen? As an explanation, the reasons listed above will do.

But there are others, which we will talk about in more detail:

Young man is very busy

Girls can do several things at once: cook soup, chat on the phone, wash clothes, and so on. It is important for a man to focus on one thing. If he is busy with something, he plunges into it with his head and forgets about everything, so he stopped writing, does not call and does not make himself felt.

He pounds the price

Usually it is the man who achieves the location of the woman, but, nevertheless, he would like the girl to appreciate him. Therefore, he is in no hurry to call or write to her, let her worry, wait, and then enjoy his call. Of course, not everyone agrees to meet with such a narcissistic person, but it is better to find out about this immediately, after the first date, and not in marriage, when the child is already in her arms.

The guy doesn't want to change his lifestyle

The young man is already leading an interesting life: he has work, meeting with friends, his own hobbies, playing sports. He has every day scheduled by the hour. Therefore, even if he really liked the girl, he cannot change his daily routine in an instant.

Before making a new date, he must find a "window" in his schedule, and this takes time. For some, this approach to relationships will seem cynical, but not all men are ready to dissolve in relationships, this is more typical of women.

He does not want to part with freedom or considers himself free

There are men who then become “eternal bachelors”. They are already used to being alone, they have their own way of life, and in this life there is no room for a woman, so your relationship is not important for him. They can date girls to have a good time, but they do not plan to get married.

If such a bachelor sees that the girl already feels like a mistress in his house, assesses the situation, makes plans for the future, he does not call after the first date. And this is for the best.

Another option: if there was only one date, then the guy is not yet sure if this is the beginning of a relationship. He feels free, so he does not consider it necessary to immediately call back and write.

A man is not ready for a serious relationship

If a guy before that had a girlfriend whom he loved very much, but there were problems in the relationship, it is possible that he does not want to step on the same rake again. Therefore, he is in no hurry to start a new relationship, even if he liked you.

This is a test

Some guys take their time to write first after a date to see how the girl reacts. If she is too intrusive, throws messages at him, then most likely the man will not want to meet with her.

The young man was influenced by his friends

The guy liked you, he began to fall in love, but his friends thought that you were not a match for him. There are suggestible young people who succumb to other people's influence, so they can leave a girl, even if he really likes her.

If you meet

You have been waiting for a call or SMS for several days, but he does not call and generally stopped communicating with you.

There are several options for the development of events:

Something bad happened to him, so he cannot communicate with you.
You offended him greatly, which is why he decided to break off relations for a while. Or you made him very angry.
There is a third option: the man met another girl who he liked a lot, he fell in love, so now he only communicates with her.

If your correspondence ends after a fight, the man often cannot take the first step due to pride. He doesn't want to show his weakness. Girls are usually also not ready to immediately forget about grievances, so it makes no sense to go to reconciliation until this feeling lets go. When both of you cool down and calm down, it will be easier to make up.

Why isn't communication working out?

Why doesn't the guy write every day? Not everyone likes texting. Many people like to communicate directly, to see the interlocutor, to catch his mood. Therefore, the guy does not write, even if he sees that the girl is online.

Most of the information about the interlocutor we receive in personal communication, when we catch his micro gestures, facial expressions, albeit not on a conscious, but on a subconscious level. Or he does not want to waste time on empty correspondence, touches, kisses are important to him, he wants to see his beloved woman nearby.

And the fact that a person is online does not mean that he is sitting at a computer. He could be distracted, and he got up from the table, or he is listening to music, at this moment communicating with someone else, for example, with friends. In addition, guys do not like to make long descriptions, share their experiences like women, so their messages are usually concise and short. These are features of male psychology, and there is no point in taking offense at this.

If he himself does not write messages, but always answers, then it is possible that he is simply polite. He does not have strong sympathy for you, so he does not take the first step, but he also does not want to be rude, offend you, so he always answers all messages.

Separately, girls should be on their guard if a man says he loves, but he disappears for weeks and does not write. Most likely, he is simply cheating on you.

What to do in this situation?

Should a guy write first?

Yes, a man always takes the initiative, as is customary in our society. You should not come up with excuses for him, conjecture what is not and will not be, wishful thinking. Whether this man is ours or not, we feel right away, so there is no point in justifying him, talking about how we can work on the relationship.

Can I write to the first guy that interests you?

Why not, this is your relationship, so it's up to you how it will be built. You can write a short message, ask a question or write a compliment, but you shouldn't throw it with your own messages, moreover, write a lot and often. And then look at his reaction.

If he answers willingly, the correspondence can be continued. If the messages are rare or he is silent, you should not insist, it is better to forget about him and move on. In order for your couple to be harmonious, happy, both should be interested in a relationship, which means that not only you, but also he should write and call.

How to make a guy call more often?

First of all, do not blame him for forgetting about you. Don't show your excitement and worries. Better yet, don't think about it at all. A girl should have a busy life, her hobbies, girlfriends, so there is no point in sitting and waiting for a call.

A tantrum is not the best way to interest a guy, but you can hint to him that you were worried and worried because he did not write to you for too long and did not call you. Do not run to the phone every time you hear the call. You can either skip him or answer that he won't be able to speak now, let him call back later.

A girl who dreams of a boyfriend, dreams of him, waits for calls, may be left alone, since men are interested in winning the attention of a woman. And if she immediately throws out the white flag, the man may lose interest in her.

It is better for a woman to live in illusions than to accept the bitter truth - a man does not call, which means that he does not love and does not remember. But I really want to believe that there are other reasons why He plays silent. They do exist. But are they comforting, says psychologist Elena Tsitrava.

The reasons for the silence of a man

The reasons for the silence of a man depend on many circumstances and on the stage of the relationship with him:

Doesn't call after first date

According to statistics, many men take time out after their first date (even the most successful one). This is how their shy psyche works. They need to digest what happened and comprehend the perspective. This may take more than one day. Don't panic. The flurry of calls and SMS also does not yet speak of the man's far-reaching plans.
Another option is also possible. Women are more emotional and assertive in dealing with a man. They can also interpret this as pressure and onslaught. Particularly impressionable or independent men are very afraid when a woman attacks, takes the initiative in her own hands, or simply informs in an innocent voice that her mother will be happy with such a son-in-law. Determination and heightened emotionality are just her character. But it is he for a man - a reason not to call.

Doesn't call after a fight

In this case, the silence is obvious. The man is offended, proudly awaiting the first step and repentance from the woman. The woman is silent, because she expects the same. This competition "who is more stubborn" is painful for both sides. The point in the pause, as a rule, is put by the one who is wiser or who loves more.

Doesn't call because he's not a call lover

Yes, in the modern world of total "telephony" there are men who avoid talking on the phone. They do not like to call, much less write. The most you can get from such a man is a short offer to meet. The only question is, how long can you wait? Long. A very long time. The man is going to meet, but since he rarely uses the phone, the woman can only find out about it when he is ready for a date. Experiences will disappear after a closer acquaintance with a man and an understanding of his character traits.

Doesn't call because he's busy

This is often hard to believe. A banal excuse for all men who do not want to date a woman, but do not want to offend her with a rude refusal. However, there are those frequent cases when even the most in love man disappears from sight and hearing, when he is devoted to work, makes a career or makes serious money. And he also has relatives and obligations to them, force majeure situations and, unfortunately, accidents can also happen to him. Before getting offended, you need to consider all this.

Doesn't call because it doesn't financially pull the woman's requests

Sometimes this reason works after the first date. The woman does not suffer from modesty, and does not restrain herself in choosing an expensive menu in a restaurant, the requirements to pamper her with exquisite gifts and drive her to chic institutions. Even a wealthy man who can afford to maintain a whole harem will run away from this. None of the men wants to feel like an unlimited bank card. A woman's consumer attitude is a completely logical reason not to call, not write, and generally forget that she was in a man's life.

Doesn't call because Casanova

Doesn't call because he's hopelessly married

This reason is a classic of the genre. The man is married, which a woman may not even suspect. He is having fun, looking for adrenaline or realizing the "hunter instinct" so as not to lose the "quality mark". Why should he call if a serious relationship is not included in his plans? Moreover, if the relationship dragged on, the woman began to expect serious steps from him or to suspect about his unfree status.

Doesn't call because she doesn't love

Is it harmful to endure when you want to go to the toilet? And exactly how much is not harmful to endure? Opinions of American and Russian doctors about whether it is harmful to retain urine in the body,

The American website prevention.com quotes the opinion of Dr. Benjamin Brooker ( Benjamin Brucker, Assistant Professor of Urology at NYU Langone Medical Center. We give him the floor.

How long can urine be retained?

Most women can hold urine for 3 to 6 hours. Naturally, these are averaged figures that strongly depend on the circumstances: the volume of liquid drunk, the ambient temperature, as well as the individual characteristics of the bladder - its volume and sensitivity. At the same time, the doctor refuses to give a scientifically substantiated and confirmed by research answer to the question put forward in the subtitle: "Science has not studied this issue as well as it should."

Do I need to run to the toilet at the first urge?

The answer is also individual, the question is what exactly is considered an urge. For some it is a subtle desire, for someone it is considered an urge - an intolerable desire to the point of pain to immediately go to the toilet. Dr. Brooker recommends finding a middle ground - “there is no point in running at every first light urge, but you can't bring it to cramps and pain.

What's the worst that can happen if you endure for a long time?

With normal patience, the bladder will not burst, experts write. However, if it is very overcrowded, it can burst from external influences: impact or sharp movement with tension in the press. Most common cause of damagebladder - Accident, falling from a height or falling of heavy objects on the lower abdomen of a person. In this case, the probability of death is high.

In history, there is a case of death from excessive patience, however, over the years, the story could be embellished. Danish astronomer, astrologer and alchemist of the Renaissance Tycho Brahe. There is a legend that Brahe, following the courtieretiquette , could not leave the royal table during a banquet, and died at the age of 51 (in 1601) from a ruptured bladder. The break did not occur at the event itself. After Tycho arrived home, it turned out that if he could urinate, it was only a little, and in great pain. On the night before his death, he rushed about in delirium, exclaiming that he hoped that his life was not in vain.

Tycho Brahe

Physiologically, doctors agree that rupture of the bladder under voluntary stresssphincter cannot happen.

“The worst thing is that with regular patience, inflammation and pain in the bladder can develop,” says Dr. Benjamin Brooker.

Can't stand to go

This issue was also raised in “Living Healthy!” - watch from 3:00 to 7:00. And the conclusions are the same as those of the American colleague.

Facts you can learn from the show:

- Women should normally go to the toilet more often than men,

- With too long patience, the bladder does not empty completely. With this, infections can linger in the urine. If it stagnates regularly, then there is a risk of inflammatory diseases - cystitis.

- When urine stagnates, uric acid can corrode the walls of the bladder. It is also one of the mechanisms for the development of cystitis.

Conclusions: you shouldn't run fanatically at every urge, but you can't stand it for your own health for a long time.