What is Indifference and Indifference - is it good or bad? Don't care about old people and children. Where does indifference to the weak come from? Selfishness indifference callousness meanness cowardice where does it come from

Greetings to the readers of the site “Myself a Psychologist”! Question from Elena: Please tell me when resentment turns into indifference is it normal? This is better than, right? But in the soul at the same time, it’s still as if something is dying or freezing. Where does indifference come from and is it necessary to do something about it?

Good question from a caring person! :) Indeed, many people, after being offended, close their hearts, push the offense deeper into themselves, not knowing what else can be done with it, and become indifferent, and then callous people.

What is Indifference and Indifference

Indifference– loss in the heart of the value of something significant, good and truly valuable, closedness of heart.

From Wikipedia: Indifference is the state of an indifferent person, indifferent, devoid of interest, passive attitude towards the environment. A indifference This is more of an external manifestation of internal indifference.

When the heart is infected with indifference, all bright feelings, pure joy gradually die in it, and it gradually becomes stale and petrified. This is what indifference always leads to. It’s not for nothing that they say “Indifference is spiritual meanness.” And when a person’s heart becomes completely indifferent and loses sensitivity, the connection with his own Soul is destroyed, and therefore with him too. This makes him cruel and he becomes capable of evil deeds.

And it all starts with that same notorious offense, which at first seems quite harmless - “well, I’m just a little offended, there’s nothing terrible about it...”. It turns out that it still is.

If you don’t want your heart to become completely hardened, of course, you need to do something about indifference.

How to get rid of indifference?

To get rid of indifference you need to learn:

1. Don’t be offended, because you are always your own biggest enemy.
2. Don’t hide your resentment deep inside, but quickly throw it away, say goodbye to it. This is the ability to not hold evil within yourself for a minute.
3. Reveal in yourself, appreciate what is given by Fate and God and be grateful for it.

It’s not always easy, but the game and effort are worth the candle, because a living heart filled with bright feelings makes a person happy, and a hardened, indifferent heart with suppressed accumulated grievances turns a person’s life into a complete hell during his lifetime.

So it’s up to you to choose what you fight for and what you fill your heart with!

But it often happens that it is very difficult, even impossible, to find and pull out the root of indifference, especially if the Soul hurts greatly. Then the best thing is to turn to a good person for help, who can determine the root cause of the mental splinter and pull it out. If you need a Healer's contact for work - .

Also read

This is surprising, but true. Moreover, this also works on a global scale.

As for a person, nothing humiliates, outrages and destroys him more than the indifference of others.

Why do you think terrible, eccentric, wonderful, strange things are done in the world? Why do people go crazy about ? Why do wars happen, after all? There is only one reason - the initiators and instigators of all this disgrace do not have enough attention to their person.

After all, what is attention? This is a designation of your presence in the world. Even if it is negative attention, anger or indignation. Doesn't matter! You will be noticed. This means you will receive a certain amount of social stroking or spanking. That human energy that will give you the strength to live.

“The greatest sin towards one’s neighbor is not hatred, but indifference. This is truly the pinnacle of inhumanity. In the end, my dear, if you look closely at people, you will be surprised how similar hatred is to love.”. Bernard Show.

No wonder they say that from love to hate there is one step. And all because both love and are powerful energies of attention to your personality. That is, what your being requires.

Sometimes the indifference of others can be a stimulus for development. It makes a person go out of his way to prove his worth. Tell me honestly, have you really never done anything to prove that you are smarter, more beautiful, more cunning, kinder? “I’ll prove it to you, you’ll still cry without me, I’ll show you again!” - sometimes spins in my head. Sound familiar?

I dare to say that most human actions are implicated precisely in this motivation: “I want to be noticed!” "Look at me!" “You see how good I am (brave, smart, wise, beautiful, etc.)!”

One of the leading human needs associated with recognition. We long for others to notice us. Appreciated. Accepted into our flock. We fell in love in the end. We want to be loved!

Sometimes, in order to experience this feeling, even if it is deceptive, we are ready to humiliate ourselves and beg. Get addicted and forget about own needs devoting ourselves to the one we love. But try to honestly answer the question: “Are you doing this for him or for yourself?” Only honestly. Even in love, we are often focused on our own experiences, our own sacrifices, which must be rewarded. And if we are not rewarded and loved ones show indifference or inattention to us, we suffer.

Oh, this is truly a terrible weapon. And in every sense. One could even say that this is a terrible devilish weapon, with the help of which people are capable of destroying life itself (if they are indifferent to the problems of the Earth).

What do we know about indifference?

Firstly, indifference is worse than hatred. This is the most brutal weapon you can think of. If you don't know how to defeat your enemies, you can kill them in a simple and accessible way. Ignore. Complete and final. One that automatically turns a living, warm person into an empty place. Not even into a corpse, but simply into nothing. Remember that this is a very cruel and inhumane weapon.

Secondly, contributes to the spread of evil. “Do not be afraid of enemies - in the worst case, they can kill you. Do not be afraid of friends - in the worst case, they can betray you. Fear the indifferent - they do not kill or betray, but only with their tacit consent does betrayal and murder exist on earth.”(American poet Richard Eberhart).

Third, indifference is a killer. It destroys desires and dreams. The indifferent turns into a living corpse, which nothing holds on this planet. As a rule, such people die.

Indifference to a person on the part of others can lead to his illness and death. Especially if he fails to gain attention, even negative attention. And not knowing how to achieve positive attention and love, each outcast will strive with all his might to achieve at least some effect, even if it has the opposite effect. Because this is also a result that proves to him that he exists!

Fourth, indifference as a way to escape from the frailty of existence has nothing in common with indifference-emptiness, about which we're talking about In this article. The so-called enlightenment, liberation from thoughts and passions, the emptiness that Buddhist monks strive for is only a way to be filled with higher meaning. But not indifference.

Don't create emptiness

Does everyone know the rule of communicating vessels? The law of filling voids requires that there be no void. If we create it, we kill ourselves. "There are two ways to kill yourself - suicide and indifference". (Jonathan Coe).

Therefore, use this terrible weapon very carefully. Yes, of course, for some time you can ignore all your virtual or real offenders. But time will pass, and the empty space may be filled with new trolls. Therefore, indifference is only a temporary, tactical move. Signaling to someone who is behaving badly that they are in the wrong.

Many people are kept in good shape by just the attentive gaze of a complete stranger. Think about it. And look around with this attentive and kind look.

Our main strategy should remain And by definition, indifference is not characteristic of it.

compassion mercy indifference pragmatism

Indifferent attitude... Indifference... What is it? Where does it come from in people? And if indifference is a diagnosis, then how to treat it?

Lately, indifference has become a common word. We often hear about him on television and radio. It's in the air on the street. Everyone is afraid of him, and when they encounter him, they don’t recognize him.

Because indifference is not a hefty guy with a bloody ax in his hands and not a suicide bomber with an explosive on his belt, but a little gray man who sits in a corner and quietly reads the newspaper while the guy and the suicide bomber are operating. He sits and hopes that he won’t be noticed, he expects that a kind policeman will come and arrest everyone, that everything will work out without him, but he will only get up in vain... He always has a logical explanation for his inaction. After all, he didn't do anything... like that.

But is this really so? How does a person feel who has experienced indifference? It methodically kills everything alive in a person, all feelings, including hope. At the same time, it seems to have nothing to do with it. That's why it's indifference. No responsibility. No regrets. And there’s nothing to blame it for, it didn’t do anything. How convenient... how small...

They say indifference is inherited. Indifference is akin to cowardice and meanness. It will never respond to someone else's pain. He just won't hear.

Indifference is the callousness and failure of the human soul. As a rule, indifferent people do not recognize themselves as such; moreover, some of them quite seriously consider themselves romantics. Funny... By definition, romance is feelings and emotions that elevate a person, it is “characterized by the depiction of strong passions.” To put it simply, romance is true love, devoted friendship... So indifference and romance are incompatible.

I would rather classify those who are indifferent, on the contrary, as pragmatists. But this is also difficult. Because they are nothing, neither this nor that, neither fish nor meat, fresh and tasteless. Sometimes well-read. And they can even quite emotionally retell what they read or heard. But very soon you begin to realize that these statements contain little personal relevance, and you lose interest.

Indifference is always disguised. Disguises itself as all sorts of human feelings. It deceives. And he himself believes in his own deception. And therefore it cannot be immediately recognized. And that is why it is dangerous. Deception and disappointment hurt.

Indifferent people are half-humans, subhumans, standing at a lower stage of human evolution. And at their core, these are terrible people, because they lack all feelings except hunger, cold and comfort. Indifference as such is cruel. It destroys love, kills faith in people.

Indifference is a state of a person in which he does not show the slightest interest in anything. Synonyms: apathy, indifference, callousness, insensitivity, heartlessness, indifference, dispassion, indifference, passivity, callousness.

People often call indifference neutrality to make it sound more decent. However, this does not change the meaning of indifference. Indifference remains indifference.

The world through the eyes of the indifferent:

• - My house is on the edge, I don’t know anything.
• - Your shirt is closer to your body.
• - After us - even a flood.
• - Our business is the side.
• - At least the grass won't grow.
• - I don’t delve into anything, such a difficult role for me!

I listen with half an ear. This is indifference.

Indifference is indifference. When is a person indifferent to something? In the case when it is not important to him or worthy of his attention. What could be the roots of indifference?

• -- Pride;
• - Selfishness;
• - Love of money;
• - Careerism.

Bruno Yasensky (1901-1938), a wonderful Polish and Russian writer, executed in 1938, wrote very correct words in his novel “Conspiracy of the Indifferent”: “Do not be afraid of your friends - in the worst case, they can betray you, do not be afraid of your enemies - in the worst case, they can kill you, be afraid of the indifferent - only with their tacit consent do betrayals and murders occur on Earth.”

A.P. spoke no less eloquently on this matter. Chekhov: “Indifference is paralysis of the soul, premature death.”

However, all of the above is lyrics, emotions. Some people might take it personally and be outraged, which is not a bad thing. And if he analyzes it, then it’s very good.

Because our medal has back side. And on the other side, indifference no longer seems such a vice. Indifference can be a manifestation of so-called alexithymia - a condition that, although not contagious, is quite intrusive and unhelpful.

People suffering from alexithymia are unable to understand and understand their own feelings and experiences, and therefore, as a result, the emotions of other people are alien to them. Compassion is alien to them, empathy is alien to them and pity is alien to them. They lack intuition and imagination. The personality of such people, to quote psychology, “is characterized by the primitiveness of life orientation, infantilism and, what is especially significant, the insufficiency of the function of reflection.”

For reference. Reflection is an appeal to your inner world, to your experience, the ability to comprehend your own actions and their motivation, the ability to understand what you feel and why you feel.

The term alexithymia is further clarified: “The combination of the listed qualities leads to excessive pragmatism, the impossibility of a holistic view of one’s own life, a lack of creative attitude towards it, as well as difficulties and conflicts in interpersonal relationships. This is a state when a person is unable to see his whole life in one, as well as problems in communicating with other people

The origin of alexithymia varies. This phenomenon may be congenital. As, for example, a stable quality of a person’s personality. Or it may have an acquired, i.e. temporary, character. An example is a post-traumatic reaction, a condition resulting from experienced stress, prolonged depression, as a protective reaction of the body to aggression from the outside world.

One of the reasons may be a lack of warmth, affection, and participation in the upbringing of the individual from early childhood. According to statistics, most indifferent people did not receive enough maternal love and attention in childhood. Often, parents, instead of asking the child about what he is feeling and experiencing, not only do not pay attention to it (in other words, remain indifferent), but also teach the child to hide his feelings. It's that simple healthy child Alexithymia may develop, which will subsequently deprive him of many human joys, including the joy of loving and being loved.

Of course, I have not mentioned all the symptoms and manifestations of alexithymia, especially since its severity can vary. Someone sees a disease in her, mental disorder, someone - a certain psychological make-up of a person’s personality. But the purpose of this article is not alexithymia, as such, but the essence of human indifference...

In this regard, I would like to note that not every indifferent person is affected by alexithymia. Many indifferent people simply pretend to be so or are mentally lazy people who are perfectly aware of the situation, take care of their own feelings, but try not to waste their energy on another person, even a close one. And this is already cruel.

The Toronto Alexithymic Scale (TAS), a special test consisting of 26 items, helps to check for the presence of true indifference, or alexithymia. Anyone interested can easily find it online.

As for the treatment of indifference, there is nothing comforting here. Scientists unanimously say that indifference cannot be cured. True, some optimists advise using empathy.

And in this regard, one cannot help but admit that indifference is worthy of pity, because the colors of life are inaccessible to indifferent people. They are not able to worry and are not able to rejoice. They are not capable of love. And that’s why no one likes them either. They are doomed to loneliness. This is a barren flower. They don't have wings...

Ask anyone if they are an indifferent person?

Yes you?! How is it possible?! Yes, I am ready to give my soul for my neighbor! When I was a child, I translated old ladies across the street! And thousands more examples of how he gave up his turn to a pensioner, or helped his neighbor drive a nail into the wall. How nice it is to feel like a noble and caring person!

Indifference, if you think about it, has a double meaning. Indifference as EQUAL, the same attitude towards “all souls”, that is, towards all people without distinction into races, nationalities and other differences that “set people apart”, and Indifference as poise, balance, the strength of the soul, which no one and nothing can deduce from balance, harmony.

So what's wrong with that? Why are most sayings about indifference negative? After all, they can be interpreted in a diametrically opposite sense. Which is much closer to our current existence.

In America, the principle of relationship (and now in our country) is reflected in one, most capacious expression: “These are your problems!” Accordingly, “These are NOT my problems!”

Everyone copes with their problems on their own, without burdening others with them. To the question “How are you?” here they don’t start talking long and tediously about problems, but answer briefly and as deceitfully as possible: “Fine!” Wonderful!

Even if you lost your job yesterday, your car was broken into, and a member of a “racial minority” robbed your wife. Fine! Everything else is my problem. Because YOU, who asked how MY was doing, have your own problems.

I don’t know how to help myself, much less how to help you. Therefore, many assume that indifference is a disease that appeared in society out of despair. It is so easy and so convenient to consider a normal state as abnormal, “sick”. This is so uplifting! It is enough to “recover from indifference,” and immediately: “Man is a friend, comrade, and in some places even brother to man!”

Indifference is not a disease, it is rather a protection!

Protection from breaking, from exploding, from starting to destroy everyone and everything indiscriminately...

To be responsive and caring is too great an unaffordable luxury in our cruel times. React emotionally to everything that happens around you?

Too strong emotions will immediately begin to destroy us. Therefore, we retreat into indifference, into forgetfulness - just so as not to react and not freak out in vain... Especially if you feel and understand that you still can’t change anything.

The fact that the siege survivor had no intention of stealing the ill-fated 3 sticks of butter is confirmed by footage from video cameras in the store. These are the preliminary conclusions of the Russian Prosecutor General's Office.

When the pensioner was stopped by store employees, she offered to pay for the oil, but the security chose to call the police. “She’s a very old woman, she probably shouldn’t have contacted the police after all,” “...we have 260 thousand people working for us, these are not my children, but the residents whom you and I raised” - this is how the owner reacted to the actions chain of stores S. Galitsky in his microblog. And after the discussion began, he also accused the press of talking nonsense. But he did not condemn the guards and sellers!

Over the past few weeks, there have been dozens of cases of indifference to the weakest.

Nails or son?

Death for travel

Some conductors and drivers perform their work with particular zeal. Don't have enough money for travel? Get off the bus! In the cold and darkness, a pensioner, a disabled person, or a small child can be thrown onto a deserted road. In December 2014, in Cherepovets, a 10-year-old girl was kicked out onto the street, who instead of a school card turned out to have a student card (the cashier got it wrong when selling, and the child didn’t pay attention). “She is small in stature and has never walked alone in the dark. Thank God that nothing happened to my daughter!” - her mother wrote on social networks. The Cherepovets conductor was suspended from work for 7 (!) days. And in January 2015, in Surgut, the conductor dropped a child off the bus in 30-degree frost, deciding that his travel card without a certificate from the school was invalid. The student was very cold. Alas, similar situations don't always end well. child from Nizhny Novgorod region., who was thrown off the bus, was hit and killed by an electric train.

"Cynical" road accident

On January 30, a terrible accident occurred in Krasnodar. The trolleybus driver moved off, closing the doors as he went. An eight-year-old schoolboy, who was trying to enter the salon at that time, lost his balance and fell into the street. His hand was caught in the door mechanism. The trolleybus dragged the child 65 m!

The baby was saved by an eyewitness passing by in his car, AiF reported. Artyom Konovalenko, official representative of the Ministry of Internal Affairs for Krasnodar.- He blocked the path of the trolleybus with his car. Jumping out of the car, the man rushed to the boy and began calling emergency services. The child is in the hospital with a fractured tibia and kidney damage. Chief city carrier Alexey Knyazev contacted the boy’s mother and apologized only after all the media reported on the incident. In an official comment, he said that it is impossible to see a person shorter than 150 cm in the side mirror of a trolleybus...

Indifference is a state of apathy towards the world around us, people, phenomena, events, an unwillingness to participate in changing one’s own life for the better, and a lack of concern for other people.

“I don’t care... It doesn’t concern me... It doesn’t interest me... Leave me alone... Don’t bother me....” Each of us has heard or uttered such phrases. The person wants to be left alone, he doesn't want anything to do with certain people or events, he is not concerned or interested in anything. There are many manifestations of indifference.

Types of indifference

In a relationship

Indifference in marriage is a fairly common occurrence. One of the spouses reproaches the other for indifference. The feelings they once had for each other have been swallowed up by routine. Everyday life. Both partners have come to terms with this and continue to live together only out of habit.

A relationship between partners with mutual indifference and without the desire to change anything is considered hopeless. In this case, it is necessary not to concentrate on yourself, but to talk with your partner. Perhaps it's better for you to break up.

Attitude towards other people

As a rule, a person is very painful when he feels that he is causing his partner boredom and indifference, that he has become completely uninteresting to him. However, over time, feelings dull, the pain goes away and only indifference remains. Indifference to a partner often develops into an attitude towards other people that negatively affects a person’s entire life and his relationships with others.

Indifference of men

Many young people are characterized by a certain form of indifference, which is often confused with maturity. Many people believe that a real man should be “tough” and not show his feelings so as not to seem weak. Therefore, sometimes young people put on a kind of mask of indifference.

At work

Indifference and indifference to work is quite common. A person becomes uninterested in his work, as a result of which he copes worse with his responsibilities and, of course, there can no longer be any talk of climbing the career ladder. In this case Negative consequences indifference manifests itself faster and more acutely than in personal life, because today not a single employer will put up with an uninterested employee who does not support good relations with a team that constantly makes mistakes.

On politics and the environment

The consequences of human passivity in political and social sphere very sad, because in this case any important issue is decided by other people who have a certain interest. IN last years The consequences of an indifferent attitude towards the destruction of nature are increasingly felt.

To the children

The consequences of parents' indifferent attitude towards their children are especially severe. If parents are indifferent to their own children who need their love and attention, then over time the children begin to behave aggressively. It’s even worse if the children resign themselves and become indifferent and apathetic to everything.

Reasons for this attitude

Often indifference is a kind of defense that protects a person from stress. If a person has been repeatedly rejected or insulted, he tries to avoid such negative emotions. Wanting to protect yourself, a person often completely unconsciously begins to feign indifference. However, over time, a problem arises because indifference and indifference often become an internal state of a person. Sometimes there are severe cases of indifferent attitude towards others and oneself. The reasons for this attitude may be mental retardation, prolonged painful attraction to medicines, drug addiction, alcoholism, and mental illness (for example, some forms of psychopathy). Short-term and treatable forms of indifferent and apathetic behavior often occur after shock and severe stress (for example, the death of a loved one), especially in children as a result of parental violence, lack of affection and love.

How to overcome indifference?

In case of painful indifference, depending on the cause, psychotherapy, as well as special services, can help psychological assistance. In addition, every indifferent person should frankly ask himself how he would feel if other people were also indifferent to him. Human life impossible without love, attention and care, realizing this, it is impossible to remain indifferent.